Press J to jump to the feed. (I … In my new bestselling relationship advice book, "Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor's Guide to Lasting Love," I share all the secrets and guiding principles behind any possible reconciliation.Here are 12 key signs to look for in your ex's behavior while you're in contact with him. In New York in the 1970s, public parks where places where you could not only find a hot guy but bang him in the bushes too. Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion! One of the best ways to ask an ex to hang out is by suggesting you and her catch up to say hi. It happened. I'm curious about how I should go about this. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. 100% Upvoted. The going too fast to no good is if this is your first face to face meeting and you end up heavy making-out or even having sex. So you notice that an old acquaintance you have not been in touch with for years has your dream job. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. The best way to arrange this is to make sure you have a very good, legitimate-sounding reason to want to see your ex. Like the title says, I have been with my gf for 10 months. A kiss changes things pretty quickly. Then, if you suggest meeting up again soon, she will be open to the idea of seeing you again. It can be a bit jarring for someone else to receive an email out of the blue, so the more personalized yo… However, there are certain approaches that will spark a woman’s feelings and make her feel happy to be meeting up with her ex, and some that will cause her to think, “Is this guy for real? You can either use that phone conversation to spark some feelings of attraction and desire in her, or you can leave her feeling like she had a talk with a friend, a brother or an ex that she no longer has any romantic feelings for. After your name and zip code the next registration question is always your age (date of birth) and then they plaster your age right below your photo. Once you've let your guards down, however, you may discover that one or both of you still harbors emotional wounds. Sort by. That would obviously provide a few topics to discuss... need more info. 6 Reasons Why Meeting Up For Coffee Is A Poor Excuse For A Date. But attempting to forge a friendship before you’re ready can do more harm than good. What should you talk about? City parks were once the cruising grounds for gay men. If your ex was a slacker, don't throw the new guy's fancy VP job in his face. I'll be meeting up with an ex this weekend for coffee. While it might not matter so much (you’ve done it before, no surprises there), you don’t want it to be “the goal” of why he met you. Question: I ran into my ex and she’s even more beautiful than when we were dating.We had a mutual breakup so there were no bad feelings between us. For example: When chatting to her on the phone and after getting her to smile and laugh for a bit, you can say, “Hey, we should catch up for a coffee sometime this to say hi.Of course, it’s not about us getting back together or anything like that. Reaching out to apologize to an ex for your hurtful actions can be really meaningful to them, as long as it's about making them feel validated and not just about clearing your own conscience. It's a nice thought: having coffee with your ex lover. I already posted my story on this forum, i was with my ex-girlfriend for 13 years, she broke up 5 months ago. Key elements of this email to keep in mind: context, a specific ask, recognition of their time/gratefulness, limited time commitment, convenience, signaling you’ll provide value. This month marks two years since my ex and I have broken up, and it has taken me the entirety of those two years to realize I still love him. She asked me if I wanted to catch up over coffee and I said yes. I’m here to tell you that this is a BIG opportunity for you …and it’s something you shouldn’t ruin. I have previously been upset by her going out with people she knows to have feelings for her one on one. It is because I hear, “What do I do if my ex has a next” that I make this specific eBook: “70 Pro Tips To Get Back With Your Ex” You’ll learn that radio silence isn’t the … I'd appreciate any advice that anyone has on this! Understandably, you want to reach out, but before you press that “Send” button, do your research. I(34/m) hooked up with a girl (28/f)I work with last summer before moving away. What should one expect? In order to have more and more contact with you, he has to show that he is sincere. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the relationships community. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. What should you avoid? That said, meeting for coffee at a hotel bar has potential for an interesting outcome. Meeting an ex over coffee can be stressful. They aren't really good friends any more, I'd say that they were more cordial. Why would he […] I have previously been upset by her going out with people she knows to have feelings for her one on one. If you can show your ex that you’re able to keep your cool and that you’re more attentive, you’re completing the first step to meeting their expectations, and you’ll be sending a strong message. The next day I moved away. Cookies help us deliver our Services. We also have a 2-year-old son. How to Ask to For a Coffee Meeting. tl;dr: My gf is going to go for drinks 1 on 1 with an ex. Said she loved me then went back to ex. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. Meeting at the Bar and Going Home Together Means the Same Thing It Does in the Movies. The wind gets knocked out of you. But you’ll want to have a quick coffee or hangout with your ex, because texting can only get you so far… to “seal the deal”, it’s typically necessary to meet your ex once or twice in person. And remaining pals may seem like the mature, evolved thing to do. All of a sudden, you go from ex’s to lovers again and it’s then a lot easier to transition to sex and then back into a … Your ex boyfriend reached out to you and he wants to meet up. Give her ultimatum over this, This is cheating. Your ex’s life or new relationship may seem flawless, but you don’t know what’s really going on. By T. April 15, 2015. Initial interactions with your ex can be tense, but, with luck, this will soon give way to cordial politeness. It's going to sound weird, but dude! She agreed on that, and we arranged the meeting. You’re excited, but also hesitant. Go for coffee and walk, and see what happens. Seeing your ex for the first time after breaking up feels like getting punched in the stomach. She told me yesterday on the phone that she made plans to meet up with her ex for coffee/drinks or something. Meeting an ex over coffee can be stressful. Attention! /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. He took your heart, threw it to the ground, stomped on it, and then took a sledgehammer to crush the remaining pieces to dust. According to Bennett, there's no way to predict how your ex will feel post-breakup, so it's best to prepare yourself for an underwhelming reaction. She is back home in the holidays from college/uni. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. He's receptive to this meetup, but I'm not sure how interested he is in developing or continuing a friendship after this. Here’s how I’d ask a business development badass I’d want to meet for coffee. save hide report. In this way, remaining friends — or friendly — with an ex can serve as a kind of time capsule. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. share. Find communities you're interested in, and become part of an online community! Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Persuading an ex to meet up with you for coffee isn’t as difficult as some guys might think. How about DON'T meet them? Make sure your ex and you aren't still hurting. Ageism is a real problem in meeting people and I confess I’m as irrationally age prejudiced as the next guy. Like the title says, I have been with my gf for 10 months. 8 comments. Social media and dating sites won’t do you much good if you’re over 30. Definitely do NOT do that. Press J to jump to the feed. When I ask a girl to come home with me from the bar, I assume she knows I want to make out with her. Today i sent her a text, to ask her to meet me for coffee this week. Deep-rooted feelings of betrayal and heartbreak can take time to emerge. She was already pregnant with my child at the time. She was on a ‘break’ from her shitty boyfriend (26/m)that made her unhappy. Why are you meeting her? Sometimes it can also be helpful to let your ex know the ways they've hurt you. What should you avoid? We have been on LC for this whole time, have been together 3 or 4 times, always very amicable, but never touched the subject of our relationship. The person whose ex you are meeting, or whom you're currently seeing when you meet the ex, will not, I repeat not, understand the importance of the sartorial decision. Here’s the Reddit thread in full: My wife of 5 years had an affair with a co-worker last year. —Elyse, 25 r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. You never thought it would, but it did. Imagine that you’re calling your ex up to ask her to meet up with you for a cup of coffee to say hello and have a chat in person. She told me yesterday on the phone that she made plans to meet up with her ex for coffee/drinks or something. Generation-Y: We are the Millennials, the Hook-Up Generation and, most recently, The Coffee Date Generation. Hi there. I’m sure the baby is mine, because I discovered all of their chat logs and pieced together a timeline. This thread is archived. Reddit is a network of communities based on people's interests. It seems weird to me to be spending time with him like this, she works in the same place as him, although in a slightly different department. Spending a few hours one afternoon across from the person you once gave your heart to, now older, wiser. She is back home in the holidays from college/uni. That said, “communication” doesn’t mean that all topics are fair game when you’re talking to your ex … Make sure you know what that person has been up to and what his or her current work entails before you send that “Hey, what’s up?” email. When your ex girlfriend reaches out after a long time of no contact, the emotions come back, old passions flare, and your brain starts spinning around wondering what the heck you should do. If you see others posting comments that violate this tag, please report them to the mods! Please keep in mind that the OP of this thread has chosen to mark this post with the [Serious] replies only tag, therefore any replies that are jokes, puns, off-topic, or are otherwise non-contributory will be removed. We're both in our 30's - he ended the relationship initially because he wasn't looking for a serious relationship and I was. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. What should one expect? After a breakup, you may be tempted to try to be friends with your ex.You still care about this person, after all. What should you talk about? When in doubt, tell him things are going fine and move on to the next subject. 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